In the Stillpoint with the Master and the Lover


Tami and Herr Shadow

Yesterday (Saturday, August 13) Saturn stationed direct perfectly aligned with Antares, the star known as the “Heart of the Scorpion.” When Saturn stations direct, as it does each year, we feel it for several days before and after.

How You Might Be Feeling It The direct station can be seen as a “Still Point” moment, where the planet is at its closest to the Earth and from our perspective appears to remain in one position over a period of days. We can receive very direct and potent guidance from the planet at this time.

I have been seeing Saturn as the Master teaching Mastery because when we choose to work in alignment with Saturn’s mysteries, we are provided with the opportunity to cultivate inner and outer mastery in our lives.

Looking back over the past several days as Saturn slowed into this position of power, many have been feeling the challenging side of this. Self doubt, irritation, frustration with self for not measuring up to our own standards in our lives… this is often Saturn territory, when we are at the affect of it rather than claiming the gift.

How to Work with This Energy

Tonight and through the next several days I invite you to open to the gift of Saturn by seeing and acknowledging what you have been willing to change in your life in 2016. How you have become stronger, more whole,, more capable, more aligned.

In what areas have you been cultivating mastery? See where you are judging yourself as less than, as screwing up, as making a big mistake. Just allow that awareness to be with you. Observe where your mind is trapping you into stories where no matter what, you can never win. Now imagine what is happening energetically for you. Can you visualize how this internal dialogue is literally draining life force energy out of your body?

Now decide you are going to Stop. You are going to say No to this pattern and habit.

Bone Broth Dreaming and Power Loss

I had a dream a month ago where I was pouring bone broth into a kind of contraption that was leaking all over the place. It was distressing and when I awoke I saw and felt how I was literally hemorrhaging my power away. Saturn has to do with the “bones” the fundamental structure of our lives. The way I addressed this was by going back into the dream as I drummed and asking for support from my spirit guides and allies.

They showered me with love and assurance that I was okay, that my life was on a good path, that I could trust myself. This made all the difference. And the reality is that this power loss was something I’d been experiencing for years. It felt so dramatic because for the first time I was seeing it clearly for what it was. I saw it because I was ready to heal it. And so are you.

When we are giving our power away in our engagement with Saturn we tend to focus on everything we are NOT doing “right.” Yet if we are present and centered and truly tuning into and listening and being infused with the deeper wisdom of Saturn we know our true mastery comes from steady practices of self love, and self acknowledgement.

How I Have Experienced It

For example, I felt myself in the Shadow Saturn dynamic last night when I finally drove away from Columbia, Missouri, where I’ve been anchored for the past month and a half, growing my wings, doing my shadow work, facing my demons. I did the Shadow Saturn dance of looking at all the ways I’d screwed up, doubting every decision I’d made, and pretty much creating an internal scenario where no decision could possibly been the right one.

I judged that leaving Missouri was a bad move because I was just beginning to really feel a strong connection with my nephews, who I love, and now I was leaving again. At the SAME TIME I judged that staying in Missouri for as long as I have was a poor decision because it was too “safe,” and I should have flown sooner.

Yet as I drove west along interstate 70 from Columbia, Missouri and into Kansas toward Colorado, I began to see how the Sun near sunset made the clouds turn a vibrant purple, and then how as the light faded I could FINALLY make out Venus above the western horizon.

I saw the Moon near the beautiful triangle of Antares, Mars, and Saturn and knew that I was going to be spending the night under the big sky at Wilson State Park, in the prairie, with a big sky overhead and big water beneath me, with the Perseid meteor showers overhead.

I began to sense the energetic difference between being pulled by a longing for the past versus the strong pull into my future life. And most of all I felt exquisitely present in the Now.

I began to deepen into a sense of self trust, and my attention began to shift onto all the ways I had been empowering myself over the past 4 months since I left New Mexico. I felt proud of how I had finally, after so many years, let go of coffee, and then caffeine altogether!

I felt proud that despite the common perception that you “can’t eat healthy when you travel” I’d committed to and was getting better every day at staying super clean in my diet, something I’ve wanted so much for years but not had the inner focus and commitment for.

I felt proud of my commitment to be outside more, and move my body more, and the powerful work I’ve been doing with a new friend and healer who helped me see my most essential focus right now is on my health, as I’ve struggled with a certain chronic issue now for the past year. His encouragement, as he played Saturn for me, is that I “insist” and keep insisting to address and heal the problem.

Overall, my level of focus and commitment in THESE areas has improved. I might still feel wobbly when it comes to some big future decisions, and certain factors that are outside of my control. Yet I am feeling more empowered and grounded now because I can see how my choices have been supportive for me on my path and I become an ally for myself when I see this.

Meeting the Lover

We all have practices that make us come alive and that we can forget for periods of time. For me, sleeping on the earth, especially under a big sky, makes me feel absolutely connected and in love with life. Two nights ago when I put my sleeping bag on the ground and saw the beautiful planets, stars and meteors shining and moving above me all night, I felt more at home than I had for months.

A beautiful cottonwood trees leaves rustled in the wind, singing to me. I dozed in and out of sleeping, seeing the star patterns change above me, hearing night birds call. Before sunrise I looked out to the east and saw Sirius twinkling beneath the Orion constellation, visible now after 70 days with the Sun.

I woke to a swallow swooping low over me, and to see the Sun peeking over the horizon. A mourning dove flew nearby and cooed. A father in a campsite near me got up to make breakfast for his family. There were so many loud trucks and loud drunk people in all the other areas of the park I’d been driving the night before but somehow this spot was quiet and so friendly feeling. I discovered also that there was a perfect hidden swimming spot just beneath me.

Antares as Awakened Masculine Lover

After a walk around the lake I meditated near the Cotttonwood Tree with Saturn and Antares, feeling their energy still so potent even though I could not see them. They happen to be very important to me, as my Mercury is with Antares from birth, and Saturn is stationing right on my Mercury.

As I see it, this means I am here to communicate with and translate messages from Antares and the guides associated with Antares. In my waking vision I suddenly saw Uriel, an Archangel who has been visiting me now for years. I had forgotten that Antares is connected with Uriel! Up to this point, I’d really resisted Uriel, feeling him to be really intense and not touchy-feely like most of my guides. His energy was very focused, intent, and pure masculine.

Uriel communicated with me that he was transmitting a message from Saturn and also Antares for me. His message was that Antares is definitely Heart Energy, as it is known as the Heart of the Scorpion, but that Antares’ heart energy has the deepest connection to the lower Chakras.

In our culture we tend to think of love and the heart as being most powerfully connected with the upper chakras, with expansive light and love and spirit, but was I was getting was that Antares’ Heart energy demands that we be fully in our bodies, in our aliveness, in our erotic energy.

What I saw and have been coming to see for months now, as Mars and then Saturn activated Antares is that it is the awakened masculine supporting the re-emergence of the Shakti life force energy in our world at this time.

Saturn and Antares Transforming the Culture By Restoring Shakti

The connection between Antares and Saturn and Mars (Mars was with Antares earlier in the summer and is approaching again) is essential because it is bringing up the Masculine Shadow for healing. This is a necessary step so that the Divine Feminine and Masculine can come together in a healthy way, restoring Eros to our world.

Saturn is supporting us in deeply transforming human culture and our own internal guidelines, priorities, and spiritual alignment. With Antares and Mars both aligned with Saturn all through this summer continuing through this month, the powerful work of deep restructuring has been underway and we are all feeling it.

Clearing the Path for Full Aliveness

The new guidelines, the new assemblage point, the new culture Saturn is supporting us in creating must integrate the experience of full embodiment, full aliveness, full erotic expression. We are required to show up completely and this means clearing the places where we’ve been sleeping.

I and many others at this time have been encountering very dark, dense, entity energies that we’ve been required to heal and transmute so as to move forward. These dark energies are coming up because we must heal and clear them before we can allow our full creative, sexual life force energy to run trough our bodies.

Ultimately when we come alive again, into our passion and into an awareness that we are no longer willing to settle for less than full feeling and full personal and collective empowerment, we become that r-evolutionary force the world has been waiting for.

What Has Worked For Me

For me the clearing has involved cleaning up my diet, good water, lots of baths and showers, shamanic healing, working with my dreams, and being willing to go into some really dark areas of my history–but not staying stuck there, just noting what happened and asking for, and assuming, healing.

Lots of time outside, moving my body every day–absolutely necessary to get cardio even if just 10 minutes a day dancing or running or shaking my body or climbing a small hill. What I noticed did NOT work over these months was to spend too much time in front of the computer, get caught in my mind, try to just focus on the positive without acknowledging the yuck and blackness I felt, and getting caught in past stories for too long. What Works for You?

Over the coming weeks as Saturn and Mars continue to activate Antares, can you look back and acknowledge the ways you’ve been feeling and clearing your energy field so that you are more prepared to feel and experience life to its fullest? Have you let yourself feel the yuck and expressed it, asking for help? The fact that you are here now, reading these words is, I think, a testament to your spiritual and emotional resilience. Are you acknowledging your resilience, your beautiful heart, your willingness to continue too show up even when it gets hard?

We have all been doing such powerful healing work over these months. We are invited to continue to keep dropping into our hearts, dropping down into our bodies, and asking for help when we get stuck. We are asked to see what truly makes us come alive and to do that thing.

We are supported in letting go of, releasing addictions that might have kept us asleep for many years, and we are supported in clearing and healing in as many waysas there are human beings. Sending so much love too each of you on your path. Don’t forget how essential you are to the whole. We need you. We need your full presence.

The Vulture and the Sun


vulture

Like Vulture we are alchemists of Death and Rebirth. We have been dancing with the Dead, the Hungry Ghosts living in our bellies and our wombs. We are dancing them back home to Source where they belong. And in the clear, empty void left in its place we will be dancing in the New Life, the Love Child of the reunion of the Sacred Masculine and Sacred Feminine.

We are opening our arms to the present moment with its grief, beauty, pain, and aching love. May Our Dance Renew the World for Our Beautiful Children and Grandchildren Many Generations into the Future.

With such gratitude and reverence for each of us on this beautiful Earth Walk together.

From my Deepest Heart to Yours,

Tami

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